short story: Ya know, I never get tempted. I completely lost the desire to get high or get drunk after about 4 months sober.
the long story: I had been trying to control my drug use since about 2003. I went to a $10,000 treatment center… started going to Alcoholics Anonymous regularly, and was still getting high. I just couldn’t seem to stop altogether no matter how badly i wanted to or no matter how many times I said “never again”. Eventually, on March 11 2005 I did my last bag of meth, called my sponsor in AA and actually started doing the steps with him. While I always thought the whole 12 step thing was a load of bullshit and purely academic, i was at that point willing to try anything to stop the seemingly endless cycle of getting high and regretting it and not getting anywhere in life. After about 4 months of stopping I found that I hadn’t thought about meth at all for a few days. And then that turned into a week, and then a month and the thought never returned. I can only attribute this to a change in my thoughts, feelings and reactions to life that were brought about by doing those steps. I mean, of course I “think” about it from time to time, but I no longer have that uncontrollable, all-consuming urge to get high for which i would sell my soul 😉 Anyway, it’s no cakewalk. Living completely sober has been tough and there’s a lot of shit that has been hard to not get high over. But I guess that different set of thoughts, feelings and reactions to life allows me to get though what I would have gotten high over.
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