Carrie isn’t into AA meetings anymore. She finds them “boring” and “hates going to them”. It’s been a struggle the last few months trying to encourage her to go to meetings. 4 weeks ago she finally committed to a wednesday night meeting and made it her home group. the following week when it was time to go to her meeting she decided at the last minute to not go. I have tried to tell her that we don’t really have a choice whether we want to go to meetings or not – part of our responsibility as sober alcoholics and that if either of us put anything else before meetings we will lose that stuff first when we relapse.
She says that without meetings she will still be fine – siting her sponsor and her sober friends as her connection to sobriety and the AA way of life…
Last night she told me, “come on, nick. We both know we’re not in to AA anymore”. I disagreed, pointed out the commitments I have to my sponsee Scott, my bi-weekly commitment running a step group at Turning Point and going to Golden Key at least every two weeks.
Of course I imagine that within a couple years of not going to meetings she will inevitably see drinking as a good idea and when that happens I fear I won’t like the new drinking Carrie. What will I do then? Is this part of the “through sickness and health” piece?
Am i wrong in thinking relapse is an inevitability of not going to meetings?
Am I being codependant in trying to get her to go to meetings or just a caring, worried husband?
How does this change our relationship if suddenly one of us stops going to meetings? Starts drinking?
Leave a Reply