now what

I got some really harsh news yesterday.

I still sort of don’t believe it.
I still am wishing it will turn out to be not true.
The implications of it are too much for me to even think about.
I don’t know what to fucking do.
The good old standard suicidal/drug-using thoughts accompany.
I didn’t show up to work today.
I read this kid’s book when i was younger. In one of the stories, this girl has to give a presentation in class. The story is just her internal monologue while she is standing in front of the others. I distinctly remember her saying she wishes she could just slip through the cracks in the floor, as she rubbed the cracks with the toe of her shoe.
fuck i hate this blog business. it was a lot easier to be entirely honest and open when i was fucked up on drugs and couldn’t feel anything anyway.

Comments

One response to “now what”

  1. Sir Avatar

    let’s not see an epidemic of drug use

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