wanting to remain

so we had our first DTR (define the relationship) talk last night. Oh boy. It was actually good to clarify things, I suppose. And she verbalized almost exactly what I had assumed anyway. She was in a 12 year relationship seperated by a 6 month break following in to her latest 2 year relationship. And they broke up in March. I was really not expecting her to want to jump right back in to an intense relationship and so far that has held true. She told me she cannot share 100% of herself right now. It terrifies her to think of being back in a relationship like the last one she was in. I told her I could relate and I feel the same way. I enthusiastically thanked her for her honesty and told her that I pretty much had guessed that’s where she is at and that I am not exactly eager to jump back in to an intense relationship either. We’re both fucking terrified of codependant relationships, of being tied down, of being controlled, of any limitation. She told me she really digs me. She told me I’m totally cute and handsome. I told her that was redundant. She laughed. So, I’m gonna let her drive, and let her call me when she wants. I want to see where she defines our relationship as comfortable. However, I have a creeping suspicion that now that we are mutually attracted to one another and are actually getting to know one another, there is little either of us can do to control where this is going.