Just wanted to make an amendment to that last post. I feel what i said may come across as blaming her for not being a certain way that would have made things work. that’s a pretty fucked up way for me to look at it and i hate looking at it that way. What’s really going on is I AM the fucked up one. I am the one with unrealistic views, lacking compassion and understanding. It was because of how I am that I caused myself so much pain when we were together and it is because of my fucked up dysfuntional nature that I am now so fucked up, raw and hurting.
It’s not you. You’re gonna find someone who loves you more than i can, loves you exactly how you are, no matter what you do. Aparently i am not that person right now.
fuck. fuck. fuck.
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