Had a very satisfying last few days of existence. My life is so full today. I was walking somewhere yesterday, remarking to myself how it has been months since I have had a ‘boring’ moment in my day. And rarely ever am I dissatisfied. My probelms today are really in themselves, amazingly insignificant and only the spice that comes with eating really good food.
I quit smoking again. I haven’t poisoned myself in 5 whole days. Once the cigarettes are gone, once that smoke is out of my system, having followed ev ery other poison out of my body, a surge of life flows in to me to replenish all that had been depleted. I feel original. Pure. As I was when I was born, and so I am – reborn. Totally free from mood-altering substances. All that I source from life now is natural energy, from the nutrients i put in my stomach, the conversations and music i fill my ears with, the motions I put my body through every day, the energy i put in to the work i do, the relationships i foster, the service i do for others, the information i learn; it is now all part of a symbiotic relationship that is not destructive in anyway but is creative, a process of daily creation, rejuventation and reincarnation.
I haven’t much time to write now. But I do want to record a few things, partcularly how my weekend was, which I wrote about in this email to my father:
Dad:
Thanks for your email. Sarah seemed really happy all night. I think she must have been feeling quite accomplished, as she should. I’m not sure if Sarah told you about the Grad Show. Lorea and I went down there and met up with Sarah and John and later, Mike and Liz. John’s roommates were there as well, as well as a bunch of friends of Lorea’s, Sarah’s and mine that we chanced to meet there. There was quite a big turnout, it was very crowded. So crowded that there was a few times where both Sarah and I started to feel panicky. Luckily there was quiet, unpopulated places to retreat to. After spending quite some time at Emily Carr looking at all the art Lorea and I went downtown to go see a band, “Ladyhawk” play at a little store called “Goon Pack”. Goon Pack puts all their regular merchandise away for the evening and hosts events like bands every once in a while. Lorea and I had some mexican food around midnight at a little mexican joint around the corner. My good friend, Rob came and met up with us at the show. The band was put on a really good show. After their set, we left and ran in to Sarah, John and John’s roommates who all had cabbed downtown to come to the show but unfortunately were a bit late. We walked through gastown together, all of us and checked out another bar which we all decided was “not happening”. We all were pretty tired by this point so we all decided to call it a night. Rob drove Sarah, John and John’s roommates back to their houses and Lorea and I came back to my house to watch a movie and go to sleep. It was a fantastic night.
Thank mom again for the dinner, if you get a chance. It was delicious. Those strawberries were fresh!
I’m not sure, but you may be able to correct those photos that had an incorrect white balance in Photoshop using the “Photofilter…” adjustment under the menu Image/Adjustment.
This photo of John, Sarah, Me and Mom looks amazing!! It’s really a great photo! I’d really like a print of it, if you can do that. A 5×7 would be nice. I will bring you photopaper next time I see you if you want to print them on your printer.
Sarah’s trip snuck up fast. Thanks for reminding me.
While Sarah was getting ready for grad we must have seemed preoccupied to you — there was a lot going on!
It didn’t even bother me. Don’t worry about it, I understand. You have been very supportive of her. It’s great!
On sunday, Lorea took me to a yoga class at Bikram’s Yoga on Commercial Drive. It was the first time I had ever done it. It was an amazing experience! It takes a lot of discipline and can really be quite strenuous, more than i imagined. After my first class, I was so excited about it I got Lorea and I each one month unlimited passes to the yoga studio. We went again together today at 8am because i didn’t have to work, and we are planning on going everyday for the next month. It is great exercise, balance training and most importantly is very meditative for the mind and soul. It really brings you to a place where you feel free from everything and totally at one with yourself – a very spiritual experience. I am going tomorrow before work to the 6am class. It must take something really amazing to get me up at 5am to make it to the class!
Hope you are well.
Love,
Nick.
I feel so fucking alive.
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