I woke up this morning feeling pretty bad. I actually woke up in a panic. I was dreaming that today was my first day of class at some school that I was starting at. I for some reason had to bring my computer to school, my desktop, on the bus. In my dream I was rushed and panicking first thing in the morning to catch the bus on time. I had no idea how to get to the school. I had no idea what to bring. I didn’t want to miss any classes, but it was apparent I was going to. Essentially what I was filled with was a feeling of preemptive failure. I woke up 10 minutes later – 6:45am to my alarm going off. I sat up in bed. I felt like shit. I still feel kinda shitty. Haven’t been in this routine since last Tuesday. I jsut spent the last week having a kick-ass time in Santa Clara, south of San Francisco with a few of my closest friends. I actually felt so shitty this morning that I prayed and then read Upon Awakening. I have no milk for my cereal. I have a dentist appointment at 8:30am where I’m getting two teeth drilled. After that I am working until 4pm.
The honeymoon is over.
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