I am so fucking exhausted right now. I really need a day off. Thank god I don’t work tomorrow. I leave Sunday for Galiano. Our crew is all going there to build a house. Should be about 4 or 5 days. We are gonna work long days, 10-12 hours. And i’m gonna get paid 20/hour under the table. I like money when it is given to me. Got paid today for the last two weeks work. That takes care of rent for the next couple of months.
Today’s contribution to my fatigue was that I worked on a the set of Stargate SG-1. Not construction, as per usual. My foreman gave me the day off seeing as how we’re gonna be working Sunday, but I got a call from IATSE Dispatch this morning and decided to follow the request. The request was for the lighting department, a lighting op. I’ve never been a lighting op before. My closest experience was being head of lighting and sound in high school. However I quickly realized that the complexity of the situation on a professional production stage is about 4000x more complicated than a high school production. I don’t like feeling unknowledgable regarding work. The feeling is draining. Feeling like tits on a bull. Having to ask “What can I do?” or “How do I do this?” after and during each task. I think maybe once (if) I have more experience as a lighting op, the job could be more fun. As it was, I hated almost every minute of it. I was up in my head all day. Lacking the companionship, understanding and teamwork that I am used to working with my construction crew. I also lacked the proper tools for the job. All the other lamp ops had their toolbelts with a crescent wrench, electrical tape, zap straps, Leatherman, sharpies etc. whereas I had only a pair of pliers that the Gaffer gave me at the beginning of the day. I was constantly wishing I had a certain tool that I didn’t have for a given task. Constantly asking for the other lamp op’s tools and having them scoff at my inadequacy. The other lamp ops weren’t particularly friendly or understanding of my situation, having never done this before. So I was left to be constantly mindful of my situation to avoid any freakouts. Kept telling myself “It’s alright, you don’t have to be amazingly competant today, you’re learning. Just pray, just pray for the strength to continue.” I was unaware of the work schedule. When I could take smoke breaks, when lunch was, that we were going to be working for 12 fucking hours. I felt like i was breaking some sort of protocol when I would go out every couple of hours for a smoke. Lunch was at 2pm, which by my strict standards of lunch at 12 everyday was so late that I had hunger pains. I seriously began to doubt my ability to stay on until 8pm after lunch. I quickly crafted a manipulative lie and told the Gaffer I had an appointment at 6pm to have dinner with my mom so i would have to leave early. He then proceded to completely embarrass me infront of every available crew member by telling them all that, “Nick’s gotta go home early boys. He came late and has to go home early… To his mommie’s house for dinner,” to which the rest of the crew from lighting, construction and painting let me know how much of a pussy I was. Whatever, I laughed it off on the outside and prayed the whole time on the inside.
There is a positive side to this kind of work. I make 23.25 an hour as a lamp op. 1.5x that when I work over 8 hours, which on a 12 hour/day schedule works out to 325/day. Plus 12.996% fringe pay on top of everything. So, if i worked a full week there I’d make $1836 a week. Holy shit that is a lot of money. Today I worked 7.5 hours and made 200 bucks. If I had known then that I would be making 1.5x my rate for the last 4 hours maybe I would have just hauled ass instead of making an excuse and leaving. The food at lunch was amazing. Prawns, ribs, meatballs, pasta salad, caesar salad, and for desert, apple pie and ice cream.
However, despite the amazing pay I think after a couple weeks in today’s mindset I would seriously consider the dope to cope with the spiritual agony that would result. As of now I still haven’t showered. I still haven’t eaten dinner. I am hungry and I am beating it back with cigarettes. I suppose I should make dinner now. There’s a band playing at the Lamplighter tonight that I would like to see. I should go to that. It’s friday night and I have a day off tomorrow. Thank god I have a day off.
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