Sudden Panic

do you ever have momentary realization taht you’re alive and like, responsible for things and suddenly have a momentary panic attack?
i just had one
it kind of freaked me out
well, i was all in computer land, then i looked at my reflection in the window and saw that i’m in an apartment, the same apartment i woke up in and have beenin for two weeks, and that it’s MY apartment, that only I live here. that I have to pay its rent. that all these things around me would have no possesor if i died. I guess i feel really anxious.
anxious that I am working, and that I’m sober, and that I have responsibility and friends and am scared that i am going to fuck something up.