drill you

1. Begin with simple writing exercise

Recent downloads:
Nirvana: The Very Best of
Alice in Chains: The Complete Discography
Oz: Season 4
Radiohead: Okay Computer (Japanese Import)

2. Begin writing about right now

This started off as prose, but I decided it sucked as prose so changed it to verse.

Drumsticks in to keep the sweaty palms busy. To occupy the mind. I crave to feel you again, and I hate how weak and hypocritical that makes me. As I’ve heard, I’ve done something wrong. But what I think , what I was thinking but never would tell you is my doubts in your systematic method of self-delusion and denial. Fuck these thoughts. Fuck this looming vulture already nesting on my shoulder. At night I hear the shreaks of the eggs already hatching. Why did you ever go away. Was I ever really not alone? I know this loneliness now, but hadn’t it disappeared for a while? Or maybe I was just confused. I want you online. I want you to crawl through this fucking screen and give to me what it is I want.

That’s what I appreciate in you. I let my guard right down. I see myself in you. But you make me buy your attention. Everything’s a deal. I can never trust you and so badly do i want to. But then I realize the weakness in me. To let you sell me and buy my attention.

4. Then some introspective reflection

I dunno what the fuck. It seems everyone is gone. Everyone I trusted, I shouldn’t have. I wish I could just drown in this. I wish i had it all.

dont fucking censor this.