and i just feel like by being honest with myself to admit that I actually do miss you is some how compromising my position… that it’s gonna end up being used against me… or that i’m gonna fuck something up that is good.
You hardly speak around that kind of stuff but that feels okay for me… I just sometimes think to myself “OH! why did you say that!” after I say show any affection towards you.
I think I would rather that you know that I adore you and for it not to work out than for it to work out and me never tell you that I actually really adore you.
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