i just can’t deal with you. I want you so bad, and I know you have this thing, the same thing I have, where you need approval and validation from the opposite sex. Attention seeking. I end up feeling like total shit. I feel like total shit. I can’t deal. I just wanted to die all day. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like everyone is lying. Like everyone is just manipulating and conning…. not cause they are vindictive and honestly want to hurt me or anyone else, but just because they’re all sick. And I’m sick, i know that. But i can’t deal with the fact that I can’t trust anyone. In this situation, I can’t trust the way I feel about you and the way you want me to feel about you. I don’t know what this all means. I just want to tell you and everyone else who feigns caring about me to fuck off.
You play headgames with me. I wish i could think of anything to say… some solution other than telling you I can’t be around you anymore. Telling someone i’ve come to regard as a good friend that I can’t hang out with them anymore is hard and makes me feel so lonely. But so is the realization that your “goodfriend” is fake and doesn’t actually give a fuck.
I feel so lonely. Being around you makes me feel desperate and lonely. It feels like your interaction with me is purely selfish, because it makes you feel good when i return your attention. But when it doesn’t fit your needs, it stops, and i’m left alone.
And then you say that you’re the wrong person to be talking to about all this.
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