Push

I feel like I’ve manipulated everyone… I have guilt when other people are upset as a result of my actions. I’ve tried to be honest…. I don’t know how well mere honesty is working for me.

I don’t know what I want.
I want to fuck everyone.
I want to be everywhere.
I want all the love.
I can’t bear what my mind tells me I am.
When I close my eyes and have a brief moment of serenity, I see you.
Does that mean I’m supposed to stay close to you?
I’ve lead myself astray before.
We seem like we’re meant to be together.
And then I push you away.
I fuck it up.
And we both avoid each other.
Till one of us breaks the silence.
Dialogue, and then everythings okay for a while.
And we again seem like we’re meant to be together.
Until I push you away.