I have the constant smell of curry in my nose. Almost two weeks and I haven’t smoked. Daily my nose evacuates chunks and shreds of unidentifiable yellow and bloody extrement.I figure there is a war going on in my sinuses and the carnage is migrating south out my nose. Inside, all i can feel is scar tissue from a career of snorting glass shards. Disgusting.
I’m reading Permanent Midnight by Jerry Stahl. I’m fond of books written by drug addicts. This particular one is an autobiography of the writer’s experience as a junkie television writer in Hollywood. Pretty cool.
In a position where I can’t just commit to a girl who I love and who loves me back. We would be good together. What is holding me back? The trap that are committed relationships. I wouldn’t be able to fuck whoever I want whenever I want. I wouldn’t be able to feel I could sleep with whoever I want whenever it proves convenient. I think I’m sick. I mean, I know I’m sick. I just don’t know what the fucking cure is yet for my need to be validated by every woman in my life. God help me.
Leave a Reply