The party went well. We made a whack of cash – the most cash we’ve made at a party since New Years. We are hosting another party on Thursday- a fashion show, and another one on Saturday- the Emily Carr grad party, Master of Puppets.
I’m at her house and it feels good to know we are going to sleep together, her body close to mine. Some weirdness is going on… You and Her met face to face at the party. Up till then, you both knew each other as just names. Introduced, I was surprised that you two didn’t claw each other’s throats out. I was amazed you guys hugged. I hope that I have been honest in my dealings with you both, so that no weirdness or hurt would come to any of us. I felt strange nonetheless. Strange perhaps because it was an unfamiliar situation. An entirely new set of experiences and entirely new reactions to the events unfolding. It seems this city is just too small for this to have not happened. Last night, I could only sit in the back of the car and laugh to myself at the situation – both of you sitting together, passenger and driver… I could feel the awkwardness but we all were denying it, because in theory it should not have been weird at all.
Three people, with boundaries particular to those relationships uncommon to the norms of our society… Our society dictates how we should behave- verbally, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically with each other in the context of predefined relationships. I say fuck those norms, they don’t work for me. I want to define the context of my relationships. Naturaly an outsider, indoctrinated in the beliefs of this sociology, would think these relationships strange. They would think they are absurd, dangerous and unmoral. And the effect that the percieved judgement we imagine these people to have of us is what makes this weird. It is not the actual context that is strange… it is the feeling of difference… that this is something that normally doesn’t occur in our society. this is something different, something I have not experienced, and until I have experienced it, it will seem foreign. Until I have dealt with myself so that I may not be so nfluenced by other people’s opinion and thoughts of me, it will seem strange.
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